A Guided Tour Of Two Hundred Bunkers
In my wilder moments I sometimes tell people that I play golf. They may well conjure up images in their heads of Jack Nicklaus and myself laughing together over the round we just played, but the truth is that actually you’ll probably find me crying in a patch of overgrown wilderness with my club wrapped firmly round a sycamore and a score card that looks more like a selection of lottery numbers. Jack Nicklaus, on the other hand, who has never heard of me, is the renowned world champion golfer, and is quite good at it. I bet he’s never had an encounter with a sycamore and a patch of thistles.
When he’s not hitting birdies and eagles, Jack tends to also excel at designing golf courses, and he’s created quite a few. I just read somewhere that he has recently designed nine full courses for Polaris World. They’re all laid out nearby each other so that the lucky residents get to play through 162 holes. The article didn’t say how many sycamores there are on the course, but I’m pretty sure I’d fine most of them pretty quickly. Still, at least the lakes would be pretty to look at while wondering whether to risk diving in to find my ball. There is certainly something to be said for a lifestyle which involves living in luxurious Spanish properties, constantly bathed in sunshine, with enough golf to last a lifetime.
I have some neighbours that live near me, as neighbours tend to do, and they seem to live in Spain more than they do here. I can understand that - they always seem to come back happy and tanned, and it makes me wonder why I don’t do the same thing. When I look out of my window at rows of other houses all soaked with cold rain and bathed in grey gloom the idea of moving to a sunny resort like Spain does have its appeal, but then, it always seems to be other people that actually get on and do these sorts of things. For me though, what really caught my attention was the fact that some companies, like Polaris World that advertise on television, have made golf the real focal point.
I was trying to play a game of golf at my local course recently, and it wasn’t easy. We’d had a lot of rain lately - which isn’t surprising, it’s what we’re known for here. The problem was that the whole course was so waterlogged that I was seriously considering trading in my golf cart for a dinghy. Rowing across to the eighth whilst waving a cheery greeting to some poor soul who’s stranded on the edge of a bunker and looks very much as though he’s Man Friday is not the traditional or preferred style of playing golf. If I liked getting wet I’d have taken up swimming and if I enjoyed getting muddy I’d have taken up rugby.
So with the weather here so dismal, the idea of having nine brand new golf courses all designed by the world’s top golfer, all located together somewhere where it rains sunshine and the only pouring that happens is a glass of Sangria at the nineteenth. I have never considered buying overseas property because of the hassle, but then, thinking about the hassle of coping with the everyday gloom and access to just one or two local golf courses here, upping sticks and taking the plunge just once to benefit from a lifetime of endless golf and warm weather is incredibly tempting. What’s even more tempting is that I hear they’re now offering free trips over there so that you can experience it for yourself. The idea of a weekend in one of these resorts, playing a free round of golf on one of Jack Nicklaus’ designs is something that makes me wonder whether I could become the neighbour that gets the envied looks.
One of the things that has surprised me most recently is the price of these overseas property. I always imagine that they were really expensive, especially when you consider the added bonuses like the scenery, the quiet, the views, the weather and the nine golf courses. Yet when I saw the prices advertised, I could afford to sell my house here and buy a really classy villa over there with its own pool, views and more golf than I could shake a stick at.
The properties being advertised look fantastic. Of course, almost anywhere looks fantastic if you shove it next to a glorious mountain range, make sure you have a deep blue ocean twinkling excitedly on the other side and bathe the whole lot in an absurd amount of sunshine, but then, that’s the actual location you can expect to live in if you take the plunge. It’s certainly very tempting, and the more I think about it, the more I start to picture myself there. I see myself waking up in the morning with the white cotton curtains fluttering gaily in the cool morning breeze as I dance towards the windows and look out across another world. I don’t tend to dance much in the morning; I sort of lurch about a bit and stagger in a confused daze, but somehow I see myself dancing in Spain. It’s funny how a little thing like sunshine and sea can change you.
And then I have to think again about the fact that these companies are actually offering free trips to try it out! I never considered myself a potential overseas property buyer, but really, I can’t think of any really good reasons why not. I work from home myself, like many people do these days. With the increased use of technology so many people become flexible about where they work, that moving to another country is not as hard as it once used to be. The fact that all these television adverts and brochures are targeting us in this country means that they have excellent links and support, and have provided the service to so many people before that the whole process is well orchestrated. I’m very tempted - but then, you would be, wouldn’t you? Especially if you play golf better than I do.
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